We're in an anime?
by Safeleo
Summary: England gets a message from Flying Mint Bunny that they're all in an anime. Total chaos is sure to follow. Rated T for language, looking up yaoi, and blaming things on Japan for no reason.


**Okay, let me straighten some things out. First, I do not own Hetalia, Hetaoni, or any of the fanfiction mentioned in this story. I'm going to pick fun at some pairings and cosplayers, but I don't mean any disrespect in anyway. Some fanfiction mentioned here is actually on , though it isn't mentioned by name. Again, I own nothing! Sorry for being so serious, but I don't want people suing me, I'm broke. This is just a crack piece I wrote and is not meant to be taken seriously. **

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><p>England burst into the G8 meeting panting. If he was right, they were in a state of global crisis, and nobody knew.<p>

"Everyone, listen to me!" England yelled franticly. "Flying mint bunny told me! We have a huge problem!"

"The only problem I see is that you lost it. Flying mint bunny isn't real, remember?" France said.

"He is real! And he told me we're all in an anime!" England insisted.

"An anime? That's impossible." Japan said, "There would be cosplays and conventions…and pairings."

"Yep England, you lost it." America said.

"But you're so cute when you're angry!" France said, "Wait, Japan, did you say pairings?"

"It could be we don't know because we've been too busy figh- I mean, solving the world's problems." Japan said rationally. "Let me check."

Japan pulled out a laptop and started Googling things. He finally clicked on one link and paled. Everyone quickly gathered around. Japan hooked up the computer to a projector and the screen was blown up to billboard size.

"Oh fuck…we really are in an anime." America whispered.

"See! I told you bloody wankers!" England yelled.

"Why do I look like a girl, aru?" China asked.

"Hetalia? Is that supposed to be my name?" Italy asked, "Cause it's misspelled."

"I think they mean to say you're useless." Japan said, "This isn't good, I've seen what happens to other animes, we all probably have fangirls." He shuddered.

"Yo! I just called up all the other nations, they'll be here soon." America announced. "Hey, click that linky!"

Japan clicked it and a list pulled up just as the other nations entered.

"It's a list of pairings…" Japan said. He started looking through them.

"UsUk? What the fuck kinda crack are these people on!" America yelled.

"Me and Italy? We're just friends, really." Germany protested.

"Yay, we're partners!" Italy said, hugging Germany. Hungary snickered.

"Um, I don't think you understand…" Germany said awkwardly.

"Moi! I'm shipped with almost everyone!" France winked.

"Bloody Frog! As if FrUK would ever happen!" England yelled at him. France winked at him and England fell silent. The rape face France was projecting would've scared Russia.

"What the fuck is a Canada?" Prussia asked. Canada tried to tell him from the corner, but of course no one listened.

"Kolkolkol…" Russia laughed, "Me and China, and America! Well, everyone will become one with me eventually."

"Why am I shipped with that moron Prussia!" Austria complained.

"Why am I shipped with anyone at all?" Hungary grumbled, grabbing her frying pan. "Japan, I blame you for this!"

"It's not my fault; some human must have seen us and wrote an anime." Japan protested, "And I'm just friends with Greece-san and England-san."

"Romano! You're shipped with me!" Spain squealed.

"I know bastard!" Romano yelled, punching Spain.

Japan ignored them and began streaming the anime. There was a lot of yelling, arguing, and fighting through the whole thing. On the America's shed cleaning episodes, America and England both took off until they passed. Finally the group finished the anime.

"Someone's been stalking us, da?" Russia asked.

"Yes brother dear, me." Belarus whispered, "Marry me!"

"Romano, I didn't know you were jealous of your brother, let me give you hug therapy!" Spain called.

"No you damn bastard, whoever made this is wrong, why would I be jealous of that useless idiot!" Romano yelled.

"Hey, look at those pictures!" America suggested. A series of really hardcore yaoi filled the screen. Switzerland quickly covered Lichtenstein's eyes and Germany covered Italy's. France sat drooling while Hungary wrote down the website.

"Jeezus Christ that's disgusting!" America yelled.

"Who makes this stuff!" England exclaimed.

"Yuck, here, clicky on that one instead." America pointed.

A long, detailed fanfic of a snapped Canada filled the screen, complete with "cherry" syrup, hockey sticks, cannibalism, hardcore torture, everybody dying, thoughts of suicide, 40 pound curling stones, a lot of blood, gore, and some M rated stuff. Everyone stared wide-eyed at the screen, and when they had all finished reading the story they dog-pile glomped Canada. (except Russia)

"Brother, I recognize you! Don't kill me!" America cried, leading the group attack hug.

"I'm not going to hurt anyone! It's just some fan who needs serious help, with a therapist or something." Canada promised, "And eating eyes is disgusting!"

"It's always the quiet ones." Russia said creepily.

"I'm fine! I promise! Though I would like people to remember me sometimes." Canada admitted, he was really uncomfortable with all the attention, "I'm not going to snap." Everyone let him go and Canada was for once glad to be invisible again.

"The links you choose are disturbing! Let me choose next time!" England said to America. He consulted the screen. "That one." He finally said, pointing.

Japan clicked on the link. A video showed up, all the nations were going into a haunted mansion. It seemed fine enough, then…

"WHYYY!" Italy screamed. The images were horrible, but they couldn't look away. Hours later they had finished watching all the videos, along with several picture, AMV's, and fanfiction. Everyone was crying in a big heap on the floor.

"All my fault! All my fault!" Italy sobbed over and over.

"Let me express my sorry and rage with the piano." Austria said, sniffling. He walked over to a white grand piano in the corner and sat down. Before he could play, a katana slashed the piano in half. Japan stood, his eyes wet, a first for the man.

"I have recently discovered I really dislike pianos, especially white ones." Japan said coolly, sheathing his katana.

Austria nodded. He went to sit near where Germany was trying to comfort Italy and not cry at the same time, but failing at both.

"Let me try to cheer you up." Japan said, typing more stuff on the computer. Pictures of cosplayers filled the screen.

"Dude, England, is that a girl pretending to be you?" America giggled, whipping away his tears.

"You're a girl too!" England retorted.

"Yeah, but you're fat." America teased.

"You're the fat one you bloody prick!" England yelled, grabbing America.

"Don't pretend to be mean, you kept trying to save my life when Tony, no, not Tony, that dumbass alien ghost thing tried to kill me." America grinned, "Really you love me! Tsundere, they call it?"

England lost it, "THAT'S JUST DUMB FAN STUFF! YOU STUPID BLOODY FAT ASS WANKER! AND I ONLY HAD TO PROTECT YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO STUPID TO SAVE YOUR OWN ASS!"

"He loves me." America teased, putting emphasis on the word _love_.

"JAPAN! I CURSE YOU FOR THIS ANIME SHIT!" England roared.

"It's not my fault, it's the fans, they do crazy stuff like this for all media, even Harry Potter." Japan explained.

"DON'T FUCK WITH HARRY NOW! THAT'S MY MEDIA, NOT YOURS! AND AT LEAST IT'S STRAITGH UNLIKE THESE GAY ASS PAIRINGS THEY MADE OF US!" England yelled.

Japan quickly pulled up some intense Draco/Harry love.

"WHAT THE-" England started. Then he fell unconscious to the floor. Russia stood behind him holding his pipe.

"He was acting hysterical." Russia said innocently.

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><p><strong>Yeah, don't fuck with England's Harry Potter! Just some information, there are at least two fanfictions I've seen on this site where Canada eats America's eyes. If those people are reading this, I want to say that's disgusting, but makes for some good fanfic.<strong>

**About the cosplayers, most of them are girls, though there are some guys. And some of them are slightly overweight, no disrespect intended. **

**And I know some of you will be hounding me for dissing on some really good pairings, I personally love UsUk, but the Hetalia characters have a bad habit of denying the obvious. Really Germany, Italy didn't eat all the pasta, it was the cat. ;) **

**Poor Italy, I cried so hard when I watched Hetaoni, but on the bright side, now he knows and all the characters will stay far away from any mansions, so Hetaoni will never happen. **

**I got the inspiration to write this a long time ago, but I haven't started until now. It's funny to imagine their reactions to some of the crack that's floating around out there. People who review will get a cookie! **


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